Steps to Take When Your Child is Suicidal

Suicide is the number 2 cause of death of teenagers in the United States.

If your teen is threatening suicide understand that there is a part of your child that really does not want to die.  Often teenagers will feel that their emotional pain and sense of isolation will never end.  This can often be driven by disparaging self-talk, negative self-image, and self-deprecating beliefs.  Do not minimize the pain that they express.  It is very real and intense in their everyday life, and they generally have few self-leadership skills to self-correct.  

Typically a child/teen will discuss their suicidal thoughts because they are looking for help.

IF YOUR CHILD/TEEN IS IN IMMEDIATE DANGER :

If your child/teen has a plan for suicide, has bottles of pills at their disposal, has a gun or access to one, has a plan to hang themselves, and has identified the place and the means then take immediate action and do not leave your child alone. You must mitigate the current crisis immediately.

• Call 911
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 to receive “24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress.”
• Text the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741, where trained counselors are available 24/7
• Go to an emergency room

WARNING SIGNS:

Statements:

• I wish I was dead.
• I’d be better off dead cause my family would be happier/wealthier/ no drama etc.
• I hate myself.
• I should just off myself.

Watch for the following, and remember this list is just a guideline, you know your child best, so be aware of oddities in their behavior:

• Your teen spends most of their time in Isolation.
• Refusal to have any type of conversation.
• Signs of depression, no eye contact, anger, anxiety. 
• Believes no one cares about them.
• Abuse of alcohol or drugs
• Has a long-standing history of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
• Suffers from low-esteem and depression.
• Unusual violent or severe behavior shifts.
• Drastic personality changes.
• School grades drop significantly.
• Giving away prized possessions.
• Withdrawal from family and friends.
• An overly affectionate and out of (typical) character goodbye.

If these behaviors occur with your child, take the following actions:

1. Remove any weapons (guns, knives, rope, sharp tools, hammers, etc) from your home.
2. Lock up medications and alcohol.
3. Identify items such as drapery ties, utensils, letter openers, or ice picks that could be used in a suicide.
4. Take any communication from your child concerning the desire to commit suicide seriously.  Do not ignore or minimize the seriousness of this topic.  If they are bringing it up, they have thought about it and perhaps have run through scenarios about how to accomplish the suicide.  Bond to your child and let them know you and he/she are a team and will work together to find a solution.  You may need support if you feel your child is seriously planning a suicide so do not be afraid to take your child to the emergency room if you feel they are planning a suicide. 
5. Listen, listen, listen, and let your teen speak about the things that have brought them to this place in their life.  Offer compassion, understanding, and support.  Absolutely do not criticize or continually tell them how much they have to live for because at that moment they need to express, be heard, and understood, not corrected.  Often the best intervention is a deep love and connection to your child steeped in caring, respect for them, compassion, and understanding.
6. When your child has reached this point that they are speaking about ending their lives, you must get multifaceted professional help.  It is a priority to get through the crisis first perhaps with a professional that can prescribe intervention methods. Then look at the skills and developmental education that your child needs to work at the root cause of how your child got here in the first place.  They will need self-leadership, communication, and relationship skills to help them navigate the terrain of adult life.  They require hope and the tools to build their character and have skills to be successful, so they have a sense of their unique gifts and purpose.  Work at the root cause of deep despair and help bring their light forward.

 Reach out to us if you need support in moving through this with your family.

Gary De Rodriguez
Co-Founder, unblock
gary@beunblocked.com

Master Trainer HNLP | Master Coach | Published Author | ExtDISC Trainer

Gary De Rodriguez is known as the People Mechanic™, a published author and world authority in behavior, relationships, authentic leadership, and building high-performing teams. He has spent over 35 years developing, teaching, and practicing behavioral methods and leadership strategies. He has developed multiple techniques that he trains psychotherapists, coaches, and other professionals to resolve trauma. He has worked with over 11,600 coaching clients and many more thousands of students who have attended his lectures and live events worldwide. Gary brings a strong humanistic approach to his work and a genuine desire to touch the lives of those he engages with for positive outcomes in both the personal development and corporate performance arenas.