Questions to ask your child when they are talking about being suicidal

If they have come to you to discuss suicide, they want help and are reaching out to get help.

Encourage your teen to talk about their distress.  This is generally not a time to coach them or talk about their potential or their attributes, it’s about listening to your teen express their pain.  Simply let them know you will do everything in your power to help them.

This will give your teen the evidence that you are listening and can hear their pain so they can build the trust in you and you can build the equity of trust that they will believe in the future.  That you will listen as a friend and a parent.  It is about rebuilding trust and establishing psychological safety at home free of criticism and blame.  These initial conversations are critical and must be devoid of judgment or disbelief.  Believe them and hold deeper conversation where you practice active listening and reflection with a commitment of action to help them.  

Here are some questions that you can begin to ask:

• How often had you had these thoughts?
• Are you planning to act on these thoughts?
• What are some of the things you say to yourself about your life?
• Have you developed a plan to commit suicide?
• Please tell me what you think you need from me to keep yourself safe?

Here are a few things to remember to say to your child:

• “I am sorry for not realizing sooner how you were suffering.”
• “I will do anything to keep you safe.”
• “I love you beyond words and we will get you the help you need.” 

Reach out to us if you need support in moving through this with your family.

Gary De Rodriguez
Co-Founder, unblock
gary@beunblocked.com

Master Trainer HNLP | Master Coach | Published Author | ExtDISC Trainer

Gary De Rodriguez is known as the People Mechanic™, a published author and world authority in behavior, relationships, authentic leadership, and building high-performing teams. He has spent over 35 years developing, teaching, and practicing behavioral methods and leadership strategies. He has developed multiple techniques that he trains psychotherapists, coaches, and other professionals to resolve trauma. He has worked with over 11,600 coaching clients and many more thousands of students who have attended his lectures and live events worldwide. Gary brings a strong humanistic approach to his work and a genuine desire to touch the lives of those he engages with for positive outcomes in both the personal development and corporate performance arenas.